Working on a book based on my 2002 “Looking for a Fairy Tale” art journal, I was struck by an image I’d used on May 4th, 2002 and a similar one in yesterday’s collage.
It’s the tiger’s eyes.
At the top of this page, you’ll see the 2002 collage – admittedly a scan that needs improvement. (The original journal is buckled and warped after being carried to – and passed around at – arts events where I taught, throughout the U.S. and Canada. So, I may have to photograph some of the pages instead of scanning them.)
The 2002 Journal – “Looking for a Fairy Tale”
I created the 2002 journal when I was going through a difficult divorce. From its very rocky start, that marriage had challenges, but I wanted to believe I could make it work, anyway.
For him…? I’m still not sure.
But, by 2002, he said he wanted a divorce. After over 15 years together – some better than others – he saw no point in trying to reconcile.
I insisted on staying until our youngest was ready to leave for college. With some persuasion by our marriage counselor, my husband reluctantly agreed.
The interim period was difficult, to put it mildly. To get through it, I journaled daily. Each entry was a torn-paper collage.
Day by day, I poured my heartache onto the pages, in words and images, mostly from magazines.
During that year, my soon-to-be ex met a local woman he married shortly after our divorce. As far as I know, it was a true love match, and they’re still together, smiling.
I’m glad that worked out. Everyone deserves a “happily ever after.”
I’d also met someone online, but he was thousands of miles away and much younger than me. So, it took me a long time to understand that he was interested in me romantically.
Despite his persistence, I wasn’t confident we were a good match. That uncertainty—and related ups and downs in our long-distance conversations—were reflected in my 2002 journal.
Then, a few months before the divorce, my online friend and I met in real life. To my surprise, the in-person connection was clear from the moment he walked into the airport.
After the divorce, he offered me the spare bedroom in his home, and—still a little uncertain—I accepted.
Both of us were in fairly dark places. Both individually and together, we had much to process and release, but we supported each other through the rough patches.
Now, nearly 20 years later, he and I are still together, married, smiling, and laughing every day. I can’t imagine what this journey would have been like without his continued support.
He really is the “happily ever after” I’d always hoped for.
The Newest Collage (2021)
This collage – assembled yesterday (1 Feb 2021) – has some resonance with the 2002, if only in the tiger’s eyes.
You can read about it at my previous article, Dance to a Different Beat.
The 2002 collage is approximately 5″ x 8.5″ and created with torn magazine pages, copper foil, copper marker scribbles, and Golden Gel Medium in a spiral-bound sketchbook.
The new collage (Dance to a Different Beat) is 8.5″ x 11″ and created with torn magazine pages, on acid-free art paper.